Paramedical Phenomena: Act Three
May. 21st, 2012 11:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kasihyaHoly hell, this got long. Like, nearly three times as long as either of the previous acts. Some serious reformatting will need to be done when I edit this. Or else I could just ditch the script format and turn it into prose. Either way, the pacing is seriously wonky here.
ACT THREE
INT. HOSPITAL — ULTRASOUND ROOM — DAY
The room is dark. DEAN is lying on a table. CAMERON stands next to him, with an ultrasound machine to one side, scanning his abdomen. The patchy bruises have merged together to form a vague squiggly mark. For a few seconds, the only sound is of the machine doing its work, while CAMERON moves around the wand and watches the screen.
DEAN
How long is this going to take?
CAMERON
Another few minutes, I think.
DEAN
(never one to pass up an opportunity to talk to an attractive woman, no matter how inconvenient)
So listen, thanks for being cool with the whole insurance thing.
CAMERON
(disinterested)
It’s not my place to judge. I’m sure you have your reasons.
DEAN
Doesn’t everyone?
He hisses in pain as she presses against a particularly bruised spot.
CAMERON
Sorry.
DEAN
Nope, it’s fine.
CAMERON
Why didn’t you say anything sooner? I’m sure it must have hurt before this. Bleeding like that takes a while to make it to the surface of the skin.
DEAN
Didn’t want to worry my brother, if you guys decided to kick us to the curb.
CAMERON
(dryly)
I think it might have worried him if you’d suddenly collapsed of blood loss.
DEAN
Maybe.
(a pause)
Didn’t think of that, honestly.
CAMERON continues her examination in silence. After another ten seconds or so, she pauses, looks at the screen, and moves the stick back to the area just below his ribcage.
CAMERON
Got it.
DEAN
What’s ‘it’?
CAMERON
(pointing to the screen)
See that, there?
DEAN
That white spot?
CAMERON
Yep. That’s where the bleeding is coming from.
DEAN
That don’t look too great.
CAMERON gives him a tight, unconvincing smile that is probably meant to be reassuring.
INT. HOSPITAL — HOSPITAL ROOM — DAY
DEAN is back in his bed, looking particularly pale and angry. SAM is sitting in the chair next to him, as close as is possible, with a laptop across his knees. FOREMAN, CAMERON, and CHASE are grouped around the end of the bed.
FOREMAN
(with strained patience; he’s been at this for the last few minutes)
You need a blood transfusion before we can do anything to fix the bleed. We put you under now, you might die of blood loss while you’re on the operating table.
DEAN
I’ve told you, I’m willing to take that risk.
SAM
No, you’re not. D — Mike, that’s stupid.
DEAN
I’ m not going to get someone else’s blood mixed up in my veins. I’m telling you, it’s a bad idea.
FOREMAN
So is refusing life-saving treatment because you’re afraid you’re going to turn into a vampire.
DEAN gives him a poisonous look. SAM stands.
SAM
Doctor Foreman. Could you give us a moment?
FOREMAN
Sure.
He, CHASE, and CAMERON leave. As soon as the door closes, SAM returns to his seat and drags the laptop back towards him. He opens the lid and shoves it at DEAN.
SAM
Look. While you were gone, I was doing some research. That mark on your stomach, it looks like some kind of symbol. I figured, if I could find out what it’s from, then I could track down whatever’s causing this.
DEAN
(unconvinced)
Yeah, and?
SAM points to a particular page he’s pulled up on the laptop.
SAM
Here. It’s not that common, and it’s mostly on crackpot websites like this one.
DEAN
(snorting derisively, which turns into a cough)
Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me. Fairies?
SAM
It makes sense. One of them must have noticed what we were doing.
DEAN
(nodding slowly)
People used to blame fairies for causing tuberculosis … supposedly, they’d make people get up and dance all night long, and that was how they’d catch it.
SAM
Yeah, but TB would take too long, they needed to add something else, to make sure we were too distracted to go back and look for them.
DEAN
Hence, the …
He gestures at his arms. Then he stares off into the distance for a second, thinking.
DEAN
(under his breath)
Those bastards.
SAM
Hm?
DEAN
They poked a hole in me so they could draw a protective symbol on my fucking stomach. How messed up is that?
SAM
That’s the thing about protective symbols. They never specify who they’re supposed to be protecting.
DEAN
Guess so.
SAM
But we still have no idea where the fairies are, or what they want. Or how to get them to stop … this.
DEAN
(giving SAM a light shove)
So get on that, what are you still sitting here for?
SAM
Yeah, but Dean, I don’t know how long that’s going to take. It could be a day or two, and you’re not going to make it that long unless you let the doctors do something.
DEAN
They can do it. They’re just not putting anything in me until it’s been checked for every kind of demonic influence known to man.
SAM
And how are they going to do that? Seriously, what are the odds of you getting infected blood?
DEAN
Too high.
SAM looks as though he is about to argue. He pauses, and shakes his head, silent for a few seconds.
SAM
Fine.
DEAN
Fine?
SAM
Yeah. I’ll go let them know that you want to try this without getting any donations beforehand. And then I’m going to go back to Frenchtown to try to track down the fairy.
He shuts the laptop and tucks it under his arm before rising. He walks to the door without looking at his brother.
INT. HOSPITAL — HALLWAY OUTSIDE ROOM — DAY
Instead of calling the team back in, SAM waits to speak to them until he is outside, and the door is shut behind him. They all turn to him expectantly.
SAM
He’s not going to change his mind.
CAMERON and CHASE visibly express exasperation.
SAM
I don’t really care. Is there anything you can do, give me an override, or something?
FOREMAN
Not legally. He’s still conscious, so he gets to make his own decisions.
SAM
Yeah, okay, so if he was high or, or drunk or something, he’d still be capable of making his own decisions? There are exceptions, right?
CAMERON
But he’s not high or drunk.
SAM
Yeah, but he’s lost what, two pints of blood so far? At least? That’s got to mess with his perception.
CHASE
(as though he can’t believe he’s being drawn down this line of reasoning)
Blood loss can lead to dizziness and vertigo, yes …
SAM
Great! So he’s not responsible for his own decisions. As next of kin, I can give you permission to knock him out, and then do the transfusion before surgery.
FOREMAN and CHASE make puzzled faces at each other.
FOREMAN
(aside to CHASE)
Why do I feel like I’m talking to House?
CHASE
(aside to FOREMAN)
Can’t imagine.
(to SAM)
I’m sorry. We can’t just make decisions like that.
SAM
Oh, but it’s okay to break into our room and ransack the place?
CAMERON leans back to look at CHASE.
CAMERON
He has a point.
FOREMAN
You’re taking his side?
CAMERON
No! I’m just saying …
SAM
(to CAMERON)
Thank you. Thank you so much. Is there any paperwork I need to fill out?
CHASE
Wait, we didn’t —
SAM is already pulling a pen out of his jacket pocket. CHASE sighs.
CHASE
I’ll go get the consent forms.
CHASE exits down the hallway.
FOREMAN
I have to ask. What does Mike have against blood transfusions? You’re not Jehovah’s Witnesses, are you?
SAM
(laughing)
No, definitely not. It’s just — like he said, he had a friend who got a bad batch of blood, and his body rejected it. By the time he figured out what was going on, it was too late.
FOREMAN
And he knows that we screen all of our donations very rigorously, and we’ll be monitoring him to make sure that it takes.
SAM
Yeah, it’s … he’s not being rational, I told you.
CHASE returns down the hallway with a clipboard in his hand. SAM jerks his head and walks a ways down the hall, out of DEAN’s line of sight through the glass. CHASE follows him; they sit down on a bench.
SAM
It’s probably better he didn’t see me signing anything. He’s probably already wondering what’s taking so long.
CHASE
You’re sure about this?
As he speaks, HOUSE turns the corner and starts coming at them from the opposite direction. He is whistling merrily, seemingly unconcerned about his patient.
SAM
(flipping to the back page and signing it — as Lucas Hutton, obviously)
Absolutely.
HOUSE
Hey, kids!
CHASE scowls at HOUSE as he walks by. SAM hands CHASE the documents, and they stand.
CHASE
We’ll get him scheduled as soon as possible, but it’ll probably be another hour at least before we can do the transfusion, and a while longer after that before we can do the surgery — we need to make sure that there are no complications from the transfusion.
SAM
Okay, that’s … that’s good, actually. I need to go back to the motel and take a shower, lie down on a real bed for a little while.
(nervous laugh)
I’ve hardly slept since we got here. No offense, but the chairs here are not comfortable.
CHASE
Of course.
SAM
If I’m not back in time, you’ll start without me, right?
CHASE
(frowning)
Yeah, sure. No reason why we shouldn’t.
SAM
Great. Okay. Uh.
SAM turns and starts to leave. CHASE goes to rejoin CAMERON and FOREMAN. He makes it halfway down the corridor before SAM returns and taps him on the shoulder. CHASE jumps.
CHASE
Yeah?
SAM
I just remembered, I meant to ask you — the bleed that Dr. Cameron found. Where did you say it was?
CHASE
We’re pretty sure it’s in the stomach lining. Are you okay?
SAM
(rocking back, satisfied.)
Huh. Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll be back.
FADE OUT.
FADE IN:
EXT. COUNTRY ROAD — DAY
SAM drives up the road, up until the point when the old couples’ house is visible at the end of the road. He passes several smaller roads, and pulls off onto one of them, about a hundred yards away from his destination. He gets out of the car, armed with some sort of concealable handgun, and iron bullets. After getting out of the car, he sets his weapon down, and takes off his jacket in order to turn it inside out.
SAM
(muttering to himself)
God, I hope this works.
He hikes up the road towards the house, stowing the gun in his jacket as he does
EXT. OUTSIDE THE HOUSE — DAY
The house in question has a gravel driveway leading up to it, surrounded by a lot of wild berry bushes. As SAM approaches the outside of the house, he ducks into the bushes in order to get closer to the house without being seen. He works his way around towards the back door. He pauses at some of the windows, sneaking a look in to check on the location of the occupants of the house. There is no movement inside.
He successfully navigates to the back porch, and notices curtains blowing through an open window. Naturally, this being Sam, he decides that the best course of action is to climb in through the window. Which he does, nearly knocking over a potted plant in the process.
INT. HOUSE — LIVING ROOM — DAY
SAM is now inside the same room where he and DEAN interviewed the older couple the other day. It is empty, and the lights are off. He climbs off of the table underneath the windowsill, and has to stop to adjust the table runner when it catches on his shoe and threatens to spill the other plants on the ground. Having done so, he checks the room to make sure that it’s empty, and continues through the doorway into the kitchen.
INT. HOUSE — KITCHEN — DAY
At first glance, the kitchen looks like any other: there are dishes stacked in the sink, signs of a recently prepared salad, and a bowl of fruit on the table. SAM walks in and picks up an apple, turning it over in his hands. He goes over to the refrigerator, opens the door, searching for bread. When this fails to yield results, he flips open the breadbox sitting on the counter next to the sink. It is empty. Frowning, he digs in his pocket with his free hand, and comes up with several dark iron bullets. He presses one to the apple in the opposite hand. There’s no sizzling, no flashy effects, but when he takes the metal away, it leaves a bullet-shaped patch of rotten flesh behind. The patch spreads quickly, leaving behind an apple at least three days rotten.
Sam curses and puts the apple in his pocket. The house creaks; he looks up at the ceiling, waiting to see if anything else will happen, but nothing does. A bird caws through the window. He notices a narrow door next to the refrigerator and opens it, revealing a small pantry. Sitting on the shelf at about eye level are several glass jars of cookies. His face falls as he looks at them, pulls one down, and opens it. Inside are the same type of cookies as DEAN was eating when they left the house two days previously. He repeats the bullet-to-the-food experiment on the cookie. It crumbles away into a black, powdery substance, around which he closes his fingers before it can escape.
The silence is broken by the voice of the old man, coming from around the front of the house. The voice of the old woman answers him. SAM turns, shuts the pantry, and shoves the bullets back into his pocket, next to the apple. He runs for the open living room window as quietly as possible, looking back to make sure that the fairy couple aren’t inside already.
INT. HOUSE — LIVING ROOM — DAY
SAM runs for the window, before looking at the first still clenched around the powder and realizing that trying to climb through a window one-handed, over a set of potted plants, is not going to work. The front door opens, a few rooms away, and he flinches. For a moment, it seems as though he has frozen up; then he recovers himself, and pries open the back door as quietly as possible. As he slides through the door, the voices of the old couple get louder. They are obviously in the front hall now.
OLD WOMAN
(irritated)
No. I was born and raised here, I am not —
OLD MAN
(condescendingly)
Don’t talk back to me, changeling.
SAM pauses with his head halfway through the door, to frown at this piece of information, before remembering that he’s sneaking around a house that apparently belongs to two fairies, and he should probably get out of there as soon as possible, if not sooner.
EXT. YARD — DAY
He leaps down off of the porch, and lands in a crouch next to storm cellar doors made of wood. The doors are more or less ordinary, but they are made of wood, not metal, and the grain of the wood is shaped into the same sort of vague symbol on Dean’s stomach. Naturally, this gives SAM pause. He looks up at the house from his position against the porch, and sees nothing, so he tries to open the doors. They rattle, but don’t come loose, so he presses his eye to the crack instead. Through the crack, a slice of sunlit riverbank is visible as though seen from head height. A small Hispanic girl runs past, her laughter visible but not audible. SAM watches her for a moment, before a robin chirping causes him to jump back. He disappears into the bushes, looking back one last time to make sure that he hasn’t been seen.
FADE OUT.
FADE IN:
INT. HOSPITAL — HOSPITAL ROOM — DAY
While the previous scenes take place, FOREMAN and CAMERON reenter DEAN’s hospital room, armed with a new IV drip. DEAN watches them defiantly.
DEAN
What’s that?
FOREMAN
(hooking the bag up to the rack)
This is a clotting agent. If it works like we hope it will, then you have a better chance of getting through the surgery.
DEAN
(pulling away the hand with the IV in it, as FOREMAN reaches for it to attach the drip)
Like you hope it will? And what if it doesn’t?
FOREMAN
We don’t know exactly what we’re dealing with here; we can’t be one hundred percent sure how you’ll react. In all likelihood, like you’re supposed to. We don’t like to use definitive language, in case we screw up.
DEAN snorts, but he lets FOREMAN attach the drip. FOREMAN stands back, falling into line with CAMERON, who has remained halfway across the room.
FOREMAN
We’ll be back in half an hour or so, once it’s had time to get into your system and affect your platelets.
He and CAMERON leave the room.
INT. HOSPITAL — HALLWAY — DAY
FOREMAN and CAMERON walk back down the hallway, to where CHASE is waiting for them.
FOREMAN
I’d give it five minutes or so before he’s knocked out.
CAMERON
Where’s House?
CHASE
I passed him coming from Cuddy’s office while I was talking to the brother.
FOREMAN
So we don’t know.
(with false cheer)
Hey, you know, I’ll go find him. You guys can go make sure that our patient doesn’t drown in his own blood while he’s unconscious.
Without waiting for a reply, FOREMAN gives his teammates a nod and walks away. The expression on CAMERON’s face can only be described as priceless.
INT. HOSPITAL — HOSPITAL ROOM — DAY
CAMERON and CHASE have returned to the room; DEAN is unconscious. The equipment necessary for a blood transfusion is laid out on the table at the foot of the bed. CAMERON shuts the blinds so that the room is screened from view, and the pair get to work.
CHASE
(checking the clock)
How much time do we have?
CAMERON
I wouldn’t risk keeping him under for more than forty-five minutes.
CHASE
Okay. Let’s get going, then.
They set to work. CAMERON does the cleaning work and inserts the needle into the vein on DEAN’s forearm; CHASE passes her a blood bag, which she attaches to the cord on the end of the needle. With this accomplished, she hangs the blood bag, and she and CHASE sit down to monitor the process for any allergic reactions or other side effects as a result of the transfusion. There is awkward silence for a while.
CHASE
So …
CAMERON
Please, don’t feel obligated to make conversation.
CHASE raises his hands briefly in an ‘I surrender’ gesture, looking down. They wait for a few seconds more. He goes to check DEAN’s pulse, and gives him a visual once-over.
INT. HOSPITAL — HOSPITAL ROOM — DAY
Forty-five minutes later, the scene is nearly identical, aside from the blood bag now being mostly empty. CHASE is by the window, flipping through a magazine. CAMERON is pacing. DEAN is breathing shallowly, and it’s clear that he has started to have some difficulty. CAMERON paces over to him and disconnects the blood bag. Following this, she does the same to the sedative IV. CHASE closes his magazine, and CAMERON steps back, preparing for DEAN’s return to the conscious world. As they wait, there is a knock on the door. Immediately following the knock, the door opens, and WILSON leans in. CAMERON moves to intercept him before he can ask what they’re doing.
WILSON
(looking first to DEAN, then to CAMERON)
Is House in here?
CAMERON
He stopped by about twenty minutes ago. I don’t know where he is now, sorry. Did you try paging him?
WILSON
(rolling his eyes)
Multiple times. Do you think you could try him?
CAMERON
Uh … yeah, sure. Is something the matter?
WILSON
(in the tone of the long-suffering)
No, not exactly.
CAMERON
Does it have to do with the flowers yesterday?
WILSON looks around shiftily at the room beyond CAMERON instead of giving her an answer.
CAMERON
(sighing)
Fine.
She holds up her pager, and hits the buttons deliberately with her thumb, eyes never leaving WILSON’s face.
WILSON
Thank you.
He closes the door behind him. CAMERON turns around to CHASE.
CAMERON
Do you know what that was about?
CHASE shrugs. DEAN starts coughing; CHASE and CAMERON switch their attention back to the situation at hand as he opens his eyes. It takes a few seconds before he starts to look around, obviously disoriented. Eventually, his gaze settles on CAMERON, as she hands him the bucket.
DEAN
What just happened?
He leans forward to hack blood into the bucket for a worrying amount of time. When he’s finished, he moves to bend the arm that got the blood transfusion and frowns at the bandage in the crook of his elbow. CAMERON opens her mouth to give the illusion of having a ready answer, with an urgent look at CHASE.
CAMERON
Ah —
The door opens despite the closed blinds. HOUSE enters.
HOUSE
Where’s Wilson?
CHASE
Um … he just left to go find you.
HOUSE
Excellent. I’m assuming that’s why I got an urgent page to report to oncology from Dr. Cameron just now.
CAMERON doesn’t even have the grace to feign shame.
CAMERON
Why weren’t you answering his pages?
HOUSE
I’m playing hard to get.
DEAN
Hey!
HOUSE, CHASE, and CAMERON appear to remember that they have a patient. When they return their attention to him, he is scowling.
DEAN
I appreciate that you all have very interesting personal lives, but could someone tell me what the hell happened? A minute ago, that other doctor was here, telling me about platelet count or some crap like that; next thing I know, I’m waking up, he’s gone, and I think I’m drowning all over again.
HOUSE
(to CAMERON)
Ooh, this should be interesting.
CHASE
You weren’t completely conscious. We … may not have told you exactly what we were giving you.
DEAN
What do you mean?
CAMERON
Transfusion does reduce the risk of complications during surgery …
DEAN
(flat)
What. No, I told you, I told you no. You can’t do that.
CAMERON
(as though he is slow and failing to grasp a very simple concept)
If we hadn’t, you would have died.
DEAN
Maybe, you said maybe before.
HOUSE
Oh, shut up. You’re not going to turn into a vampire. I promise. And if you do, I’ve got a stake waiting in my office that I keep freshly sharpened for just these situations.
DEAN stares at HOUSE.
DEAN
Are you making fun of me?
HOUSE
Let me think, yes. Now you can let my doctors do their work, and live to thank them.
DEAN
You know what, no. I want someone else. Someone who’s not insane, do you have any of those around here?
HOUSE
Yeah. The doctors who aren’t crazy get the normal patients. You’re stuck with me. Sorry.
DEAN
Oh, great. So that’s how it works: I lie to you, so you lie to me?
HOUSE
Hm … yeah, sounds right.
(to CAMERON)
We’ve been bumped up for the surgery. The room is ready.
HOUSE leans over towards the medicine rack, and surreptitiously restarts the flow of sedatives. DEAN doesn’t notice.
CHASE
We can’t do that right now. We need to wait first to make sure that the donation takes.
DEAN coughs. HOUSE waits with saintly patience until he has finished to answer.
HOUSE
Yeah, let’s wait for the delusional patient with the undiagnosed illness to wake up properly before we keep him from bleeding to death. Great idea!
DEAN
Right here.
CAMERON
House …
HOUSE
(gleefully)
What’s he going to do, sue us? Can’t do that, they’d catch him! Whoever they are, and whatever they want, of course.
He shrugs and looks at DEAN, who has shut his eyes again. HOUSE makes a show of checking his watch.
HOUSE
That’s your cue. Go go go.
CAMERON
House!
HOUSE
He’ll thank me later. And so will you.
HOUSE leaves.
INT. HOSPITAL — HALLWAY — DAY
CHASE and CAMERON are in the process of pushing DEAN on a gurney down the hall. As they turn the corner, FOREMAN appears, and falls into step beside them.
CHASE
Where have you been?
FOREMAN
Cuddy’s office. You gave him the blood?
CAMERON
Yep. He was not happy.
FOREMAN
(laughing)
There’s a surprise.
CHASE
(oh god, why do they even put up with this amount of crap?)
Yeah, so House sedated him. Again. I do not pity the nurse who’s around when he wakes up, he looked ready to kill someone.
FOREMAN
The vampire thing?
CHASE
I guess.
FOREMAN
Sheesh.
FADE OUT.
FADE IN:
INT. MOTEL — SAM’S ROOM — DAY
SAM has returned to the motel without incident, jacket right-side-out once more. He sits at the desk, hunched over the computer. John’s journal is open to the right. The computer screen is open to an article with an image of the moon at the top corner of the page.
SAM
(under his breath)
Shit.
He pulls up a calendar on the computer, which shows the phases of the moon. He taps the current date, and moves his finger across the screen until it hits the full moon, which is two days away. He shuts the computer, stands, and makes for the door.
FADE OUT.
FADE IN:
INT. HOSPITAL — SURGERY ROOM — DAY
The room is bustling with several DOCTORS and NURSES, with the focus of the attention being DEAN, lying on the operating table. His stomach is held open with those weird fork things, while the SURGEON works on him with a needle and thread.
INT. HOSPITAL — OBSERVATION ROOM — DAY
CAMERON, CHASE, and FOREMAN look down through glass upon the surgery taking place a floor below.
FOREMAN
(turning around towards the door)
Where did House go? I thought he was just here.
CAMERON
I don’t know. He said something about going to play Gay Chicken …
CHASE
What?
FOREMAN sighs heavily. Silence descends while they watch the proceedings.
CHASE
Almost done, it looks like.
FOREMAN
(looking at the clock)
Not bad.
CHASE
Now we just need to find out why this happened in the first place, and we’re set.
CAMERON
Okay. Back to the drawing board.
INT. HOSPITAL — HOSPITAL ROOM — DAY
Two hours later. The surgeon’s work is done. DEAN is sleeping; a NURSE leans over the bed to check the readings. What she sees is satisfactory, and she goes to leave. The door opens just before she gets there, and SAM walks in timidly.
SAM
Hi. How’s he doing?
NURSE
Fine … He came out of anesthesia about an hour ago, he’s just sleeping right now. They let you come up?
SAM
(shiftily)
Yeah, I was told I could come in and wait. Are any of his doctors around?
NURSE
I don’t know. I’ll go check.
She leaves. SAM goes to sit down next to the bed again. He flicks a scrap of crumpled-up paper at DEAN; it bounces off his nose and startles him awake. He flails a bit until he sees SAM, at which point he attempts to regain his dignity and play it cool.
DEAN
Hey.
He attempts to push himself upright, winces, and gives up.
SAM
You okay?
DEAN
Yeah, of course I am. Where’ve you been?
SAM
Seriously, are you okay?
DEAN looks down at his arms, which are covered in rashes and bandages; at the tube sticking out of his hand; looks up; and raises his eyebrows at SAM. SAM smiles.
SAM
But the mark …
DEAN
Dunno. No one’s freaking out at me right now, so I’m assuming I’m not about to drop dead.
SAM
Great.
Silence descends for a few seconds, while they avoid looking directly at each other.
DEAN
… So?
SAM
Oh, right. Here.
SAM digs through his pockets and pulls out a small plastic bag with the black remains of the cookie inside. DEAN takes it from him and opens it to look inside and sniff.
DEAN
It’s dirt.
SAM
It’s gingerbread.
DEAN takes a moment to process this.
SAM
It was honestly just a lucky guess. I went around to all of the places we’d been the day before this happened. There was the one woman with the daughter …
DEAN smirks.
SAM
… there was the town library, and there was the old couple.
DEAN
Yeah, and?
SAM
(bordering on incredulity that he hasn’t figured out where this is going)
Where the husband brought out all of those cookies. Which you then ate.
DEAN tilts his head back and shuts his eyes.
SAM
I went through their house. Weeds everywhere, remember? Weeds, no bread, and the fruit was only fresh until it came into contact with cold iron.
DEAN
And this?
SAM
In the pantry. I’m pretty sure it’s [some sort of fairy thing going on]. I’ve been looking up how to stop it, and it looks like it requires [full-moon thingy going on] just to keep it from hanging on past its expiration date.
DEAN
Okay. So you do your thing, you save me. I get better, we find the kids and waste the fairies.
SAM
Oh, I found the kids. They’re in the storm cellar, it’s some sort of doorway to a, a river or something. I couldn’t open it, but they look okay. They’re just running around, it’s sunny … I don’t know. It’s weird. What’s the point?
DEAN
It could be some sort of ritual. You know, spring equinox, let’s celebrate by snatching a whole bunch of kids.
SAM
That doesn’t make sense, why now?
DEAN
Look, it was just an idea. I’m trying to think, it’s like swimming through pillows. Too many damn anesthetics …
The expression on his face becomes blank for a moment; then he shakes it off. (I’m working off of the assumption that he doesn’t have any recollection of the encounter with House; this is based off of my personal experience with anesthesia, which completely erased my memories of the events leading up to it.)
SAM
Yeah, well, if you weren’t such a pig, you wouldn’t be here, and you could help me do this.
DEAN smirks at him. A moment later, CAMERON knocks on the door. SAM gets up to let her in.
CAMERON
Hi. Natalie said you wanted to see me — how did you get in?
SAM
Oh, the nurse at the front desk said it was okay.
CAMERON is unconvinced.
SAM
I just wanted to see how everything went. Did the surgeon find anything when, they, um … went in?
DEAN side-eyes his choice of words.
CAMERON
We’re still reviewing the video footage to see if there’s anything that was missed the first time. So far, nothing’s come up. We’ll keep monitoring your brother to make sure that there are no complications.
(addressing DEAN)
The nurses drained your lungs before you went in for surgery, so you should be okay for a while.
DEAN
(attempting a winning smile)
Hey, look at that. I didn’t die after all. Told you.
SAM tilts his head at CAMERON
SAM
Wait. Did you do the …?
CAMERON
Yeah.
CAMERON
It’s normal to not remember the twenty minutes or so preceding anesthesia.
DEAN
What?
SAM
(hesitating)
I, uh, I told them to go ahead with the transfusion before surgery.
He clears his throat. DEAN gives him an ‘are you fucking with me’ look.
DEAN
You did what?
SAM
You looked ready to keel over, so I told them it was okay, I’d take responsibility.
There is a pause, where DEAN works on figuring out how to react to this bit of news. SAM and CAMERON metaphorically hold their breath until he decides.
DEAN
You are so lucky I’m on a drip right now, or I’d kill you.
SAM
I know.
DEAN
I still might.
SAM
(relieved that this is the only castigation he’s getting)
Sure.
CAMERON watches this in faint bemusement, but it’s really not what she’s here for. She nods, like ‘ah, I see, so that’s how it is.’
SAM
So what happens now?
CAMERON
Well, we’ve fixed the result, but not the cause. It’s like putting a band-aid on the problem.
DEAN
(muttering)
Giant fucking band-aid.
CAMERON gives a weak laugh.
CAMERON
We’ll finish going over the video, see if there’s anything we missed, and in the meantime, we’ll work on coming up with new ideas.
(to SAM)
It could take a while. There’s a cafeteria on the ground floor if you get hungry.
FADE OUT.
FADE IN:
INT. HOSPITAL — OUTER OFFICE — DAY
Several hours later, HOUSE and the DUCKLINGS have reconvened in the OUTER OFFICE in order to discuss their patient further. They have clearly been here for a while already; CHASE is surreptitiously attempting to watch videos on his laptop throughout the conversation.
HOUSE
And back to the drawing board it is.
CHASE
(wearily)
Endocarditis.
CAMERON
The shortness of breath was caused by pleural effusion, it doesn’t fit.
[More medical jargon that goes right over my head, until they hit on something that could cause the pleural effusion and the rip in the stomach lining, with the rash as a rare but possible side effect.]
CHASE
Great. I’ll get him started on [antibiotics, steroids, etc].
HOUSE
Thank you for volunteering. I appreciate it.
CHASE
(nonplussed)
Um … you’re welcome?
HOUSE
For offering to stay late and monitor our patient. Sorry, I assumed that was implicit.
CHASE
What? No, I’m going home in an hour.
HOUSE
Not anymore you’re not.
CHASE looks to CAMERON for support; she appears pained on his behalf. He sighs, looks at HOUSE, and leaves to do as he has been bid. HOUSE leans back in his chair and puts his feet up on the table.
HOUSE
And now, we wait.
FADE OUT.
FADE IN:
INT. HOSPITAL — HOSPITAL ROOM — NIGHT
The room is dark save for a few small, blinking lights. The clock on the wall reads midnight. There’s a beeping and quiet whirring of hospital machinery, but other than that, the room is quiet. SAM is sitting in his chair, at a more reasonable distance, slumped forwards and asleep. DEAN is shuffling about in his sleep. He opens his eyes, muttering to himself and appearing confused. This goes on for about five seconds before it wakes up SAM. He jumps awake, and frowns at DEAN.
SAM
Dean?
DEAN
(blinking as he focuses on SAM)
Dude.
He flails, reaching underneath his pillow for a weapon that isn’t there.
SAM
(leaning forwards, fully awake in an instant)
What’s wrong?
DEAN
(staring at the window behind SAM’s head)
Move. Behind you!
SAM lunges out of his chair without question, ducking onto the floor. He crouches immobile; nothing happens. He twists around, peeking out from behind his arms at the window, and sees nothing.
SAM
Is it still there?
DEAN
Yeah, yeah …
SAM
What’s it doing?
DEAN
(puzzled)
Nothing, it’s just … sitting there, looking in. Making faces …
SAM
Huh? What is it?
DEAN
I dunno. It’s not a reaper, I’m telling you that.
SAM gets up and turns around towards the window; arms spread and feet planted.
DEAN
(pushing himself into a sitting position, eyes wide)
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
SAM waves his hands around.
SAM
What?
DEAN
What the hell?
He ducks, grunting in pain at the movement, and protects his face with his hands against an unseen attacker.
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT THREE.
On a related note, my family and I just watched the series finale of House, and oh my god. ALL OF THE FEELINGS about the ending. The ending, that ending was the best possible outcome for this show. Just ... OH GOD. I want all the post-series domestic House/Wilson fics now. ALL OF THEM.
ACT THREE
INT. HOSPITAL — ULTRASOUND ROOM — DAY
The room is dark. DEAN is lying on a table. CAMERON stands next to him, with an ultrasound machine to one side, scanning his abdomen. The patchy bruises have merged together to form a vague squiggly mark. For a few seconds, the only sound is of the machine doing its work, while CAMERON moves around the wand and watches the screen.
DEAN
How long is this going to take?
CAMERON
Another few minutes, I think.
DEAN
(never one to pass up an opportunity to talk to an attractive woman, no matter how inconvenient)
So listen, thanks for being cool with the whole insurance thing.
CAMERON
(disinterested)
It’s not my place to judge. I’m sure you have your reasons.
DEAN
Doesn’t everyone?
He hisses in pain as she presses against a particularly bruised spot.
CAMERON
Sorry.
DEAN
Nope, it’s fine.
CAMERON
Why didn’t you say anything sooner? I’m sure it must have hurt before this. Bleeding like that takes a while to make it to the surface of the skin.
DEAN
Didn’t want to worry my brother, if you guys decided to kick us to the curb.
CAMERON
(dryly)
I think it might have worried him if you’d suddenly collapsed of blood loss.
DEAN
Maybe.
(a pause)
Didn’t think of that, honestly.
CAMERON continues her examination in silence. After another ten seconds or so, she pauses, looks at the screen, and moves the stick back to the area just below his ribcage.
CAMERON
Got it.
DEAN
What’s ‘it’?
CAMERON
(pointing to the screen)
See that, there?
DEAN
That white spot?
CAMERON
Yep. That’s where the bleeding is coming from.
DEAN
That don’t look too great.
CAMERON gives him a tight, unconvincing smile that is probably meant to be reassuring.
INT. HOSPITAL — HOSPITAL ROOM — DAY
DEAN is back in his bed, looking particularly pale and angry. SAM is sitting in the chair next to him, as close as is possible, with a laptop across his knees. FOREMAN, CAMERON, and CHASE are grouped around the end of the bed.
FOREMAN
(with strained patience; he’s been at this for the last few minutes)
You need a blood transfusion before we can do anything to fix the bleed. We put you under now, you might die of blood loss while you’re on the operating table.
DEAN
I’ve told you, I’m willing to take that risk.
SAM
No, you’re not. D — Mike, that’s stupid.
DEAN
I’ m not going to get someone else’s blood mixed up in my veins. I’m telling you, it’s a bad idea.
FOREMAN
So is refusing life-saving treatment because you’re afraid you’re going to turn into a vampire.
DEAN gives him a poisonous look. SAM stands.
SAM
Doctor Foreman. Could you give us a moment?
FOREMAN
Sure.
He, CHASE, and CAMERON leave. As soon as the door closes, SAM returns to his seat and drags the laptop back towards him. He opens the lid and shoves it at DEAN.
SAM
Look. While you were gone, I was doing some research. That mark on your stomach, it looks like some kind of symbol. I figured, if I could find out what it’s from, then I could track down whatever’s causing this.
DEAN
(unconvinced)
Yeah, and?
SAM points to a particular page he’s pulled up on the laptop.
SAM
Here. It’s not that common, and it’s mostly on crackpot websites like this one.
DEAN
(snorting derisively, which turns into a cough)
Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me. Fairies?
SAM
It makes sense. One of them must have noticed what we were doing.
DEAN
(nodding slowly)
People used to blame fairies for causing tuberculosis … supposedly, they’d make people get up and dance all night long, and that was how they’d catch it.
SAM
Yeah, but TB would take too long, they needed to add something else, to make sure we were too distracted to go back and look for them.
DEAN
Hence, the …
He gestures at his arms. Then he stares off into the distance for a second, thinking.
DEAN
(under his breath)
Those bastards.
SAM
Hm?
DEAN
They poked a hole in me so they could draw a protective symbol on my fucking stomach. How messed up is that?
SAM
That’s the thing about protective symbols. They never specify who they’re supposed to be protecting.
DEAN
Guess so.
SAM
But we still have no idea where the fairies are, or what they want. Or how to get them to stop … this.
DEAN
(giving SAM a light shove)
So get on that, what are you still sitting here for?
SAM
Yeah, but Dean, I don’t know how long that’s going to take. It could be a day or two, and you’re not going to make it that long unless you let the doctors do something.
DEAN
They can do it. They’re just not putting anything in me until it’s been checked for every kind of demonic influence known to man.
SAM
And how are they going to do that? Seriously, what are the odds of you getting infected blood?
DEAN
Too high.
SAM looks as though he is about to argue. He pauses, and shakes his head, silent for a few seconds.
SAM
Fine.
DEAN
Fine?
SAM
Yeah. I’ll go let them know that you want to try this without getting any donations beforehand. And then I’m going to go back to Frenchtown to try to track down the fairy.
He shuts the laptop and tucks it under his arm before rising. He walks to the door without looking at his brother.
INT. HOSPITAL — HALLWAY OUTSIDE ROOM — DAY
Instead of calling the team back in, SAM waits to speak to them until he is outside, and the door is shut behind him. They all turn to him expectantly.
SAM
He’s not going to change his mind.
CAMERON and CHASE visibly express exasperation.
SAM
I don’t really care. Is there anything you can do, give me an override, or something?
FOREMAN
Not legally. He’s still conscious, so he gets to make his own decisions.
SAM
Yeah, okay, so if he was high or, or drunk or something, he’d still be capable of making his own decisions? There are exceptions, right?
CAMERON
But he’s not high or drunk.
SAM
Yeah, but he’s lost what, two pints of blood so far? At least? That’s got to mess with his perception.
CHASE
(as though he can’t believe he’s being drawn down this line of reasoning)
Blood loss can lead to dizziness and vertigo, yes …
SAM
Great! So he’s not responsible for his own decisions. As next of kin, I can give you permission to knock him out, and then do the transfusion before surgery.
FOREMAN and CHASE make puzzled faces at each other.
FOREMAN
(aside to CHASE)
Why do I feel like I’m talking to House?
CHASE
(aside to FOREMAN)
Can’t imagine.
(to SAM)
I’m sorry. We can’t just make decisions like that.
SAM
Oh, but it’s okay to break into our room and ransack the place?
CAMERON leans back to look at CHASE.
CAMERON
He has a point.
FOREMAN
You’re taking his side?
CAMERON
No! I’m just saying …
SAM
(to CAMERON)
Thank you. Thank you so much. Is there any paperwork I need to fill out?
CHASE
Wait, we didn’t —
SAM is already pulling a pen out of his jacket pocket. CHASE sighs.
CHASE
I’ll go get the consent forms.
CHASE exits down the hallway.
FOREMAN
I have to ask. What does Mike have against blood transfusions? You’re not Jehovah’s Witnesses, are you?
SAM
(laughing)
No, definitely not. It’s just — like he said, he had a friend who got a bad batch of blood, and his body rejected it. By the time he figured out what was going on, it was too late.
FOREMAN
And he knows that we screen all of our donations very rigorously, and we’ll be monitoring him to make sure that it takes.
SAM
Yeah, it’s … he’s not being rational, I told you.
CHASE returns down the hallway with a clipboard in his hand. SAM jerks his head and walks a ways down the hall, out of DEAN’s line of sight through the glass. CHASE follows him; they sit down on a bench.
SAM
It’s probably better he didn’t see me signing anything. He’s probably already wondering what’s taking so long.
CHASE
You’re sure about this?
As he speaks, HOUSE turns the corner and starts coming at them from the opposite direction. He is whistling merrily, seemingly unconcerned about his patient.
SAM
(flipping to the back page and signing it — as Lucas Hutton, obviously)
Absolutely.
HOUSE
Hey, kids!
CHASE scowls at HOUSE as he walks by. SAM hands CHASE the documents, and they stand.
CHASE
We’ll get him scheduled as soon as possible, but it’ll probably be another hour at least before we can do the transfusion, and a while longer after that before we can do the surgery — we need to make sure that there are no complications from the transfusion.
SAM
Okay, that’s … that’s good, actually. I need to go back to the motel and take a shower, lie down on a real bed for a little while.
(nervous laugh)
I’ve hardly slept since we got here. No offense, but the chairs here are not comfortable.
CHASE
Of course.
SAM
If I’m not back in time, you’ll start without me, right?
CHASE
(frowning)
Yeah, sure. No reason why we shouldn’t.
SAM
Great. Okay. Uh.
SAM turns and starts to leave. CHASE goes to rejoin CAMERON and FOREMAN. He makes it halfway down the corridor before SAM returns and taps him on the shoulder. CHASE jumps.
CHASE
Yeah?
SAM
I just remembered, I meant to ask you — the bleed that Dr. Cameron found. Where did you say it was?
CHASE
We’re pretty sure it’s in the stomach lining. Are you okay?
SAM
(rocking back, satisfied.)
Huh. Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll be back.
FADE OUT.
FADE IN:
EXT. COUNTRY ROAD — DAY
SAM drives up the road, up until the point when the old couples’ house is visible at the end of the road. He passes several smaller roads, and pulls off onto one of them, about a hundred yards away from his destination. He gets out of the car, armed with some sort of concealable handgun, and iron bullets. After getting out of the car, he sets his weapon down, and takes off his jacket in order to turn it inside out.
SAM
(muttering to himself)
God, I hope this works.
He hikes up the road towards the house, stowing the gun in his jacket as he does
EXT. OUTSIDE THE HOUSE — DAY
The house in question has a gravel driveway leading up to it, surrounded by a lot of wild berry bushes. As SAM approaches the outside of the house, he ducks into the bushes in order to get closer to the house without being seen. He works his way around towards the back door. He pauses at some of the windows, sneaking a look in to check on the location of the occupants of the house. There is no movement inside.
He successfully navigates to the back porch, and notices curtains blowing through an open window. Naturally, this being Sam, he decides that the best course of action is to climb in through the window. Which he does, nearly knocking over a potted plant in the process.
INT. HOUSE — LIVING ROOM — DAY
SAM is now inside the same room where he and DEAN interviewed the older couple the other day. It is empty, and the lights are off. He climbs off of the table underneath the windowsill, and has to stop to adjust the table runner when it catches on his shoe and threatens to spill the other plants on the ground. Having done so, he checks the room to make sure that it’s empty, and continues through the doorway into the kitchen.
INT. HOUSE — KITCHEN — DAY
At first glance, the kitchen looks like any other: there are dishes stacked in the sink, signs of a recently prepared salad, and a bowl of fruit on the table. SAM walks in and picks up an apple, turning it over in his hands. He goes over to the refrigerator, opens the door, searching for bread. When this fails to yield results, he flips open the breadbox sitting on the counter next to the sink. It is empty. Frowning, he digs in his pocket with his free hand, and comes up with several dark iron bullets. He presses one to the apple in the opposite hand. There’s no sizzling, no flashy effects, but when he takes the metal away, it leaves a bullet-shaped patch of rotten flesh behind. The patch spreads quickly, leaving behind an apple at least three days rotten.
Sam curses and puts the apple in his pocket. The house creaks; he looks up at the ceiling, waiting to see if anything else will happen, but nothing does. A bird caws through the window. He notices a narrow door next to the refrigerator and opens it, revealing a small pantry. Sitting on the shelf at about eye level are several glass jars of cookies. His face falls as he looks at them, pulls one down, and opens it. Inside are the same type of cookies as DEAN was eating when they left the house two days previously. He repeats the bullet-to-the-food experiment on the cookie. It crumbles away into a black, powdery substance, around which he closes his fingers before it can escape.
The silence is broken by the voice of the old man, coming from around the front of the house. The voice of the old woman answers him. SAM turns, shuts the pantry, and shoves the bullets back into his pocket, next to the apple. He runs for the open living room window as quietly as possible, looking back to make sure that the fairy couple aren’t inside already.
INT. HOUSE — LIVING ROOM — DAY
SAM runs for the window, before looking at the first still clenched around the powder and realizing that trying to climb through a window one-handed, over a set of potted plants, is not going to work. The front door opens, a few rooms away, and he flinches. For a moment, it seems as though he has frozen up; then he recovers himself, and pries open the back door as quietly as possible. As he slides through the door, the voices of the old couple get louder. They are obviously in the front hall now.
OLD WOMAN
(irritated)
No. I was born and raised here, I am not —
OLD MAN
(condescendingly)
Don’t talk back to me, changeling.
SAM pauses with his head halfway through the door, to frown at this piece of information, before remembering that he’s sneaking around a house that apparently belongs to two fairies, and he should probably get out of there as soon as possible, if not sooner.
EXT. YARD — DAY
He leaps down off of the porch, and lands in a crouch next to storm cellar doors made of wood. The doors are more or less ordinary, but they are made of wood, not metal, and the grain of the wood is shaped into the same sort of vague symbol on Dean’s stomach. Naturally, this gives SAM pause. He looks up at the house from his position against the porch, and sees nothing, so he tries to open the doors. They rattle, but don’t come loose, so he presses his eye to the crack instead. Through the crack, a slice of sunlit riverbank is visible as though seen from head height. A small Hispanic girl runs past, her laughter visible but not audible. SAM watches her for a moment, before a robin chirping causes him to jump back. He disappears into the bushes, looking back one last time to make sure that he hasn’t been seen.
FADE OUT.
FADE IN:
INT. HOSPITAL — HOSPITAL ROOM — DAY
While the previous scenes take place, FOREMAN and CAMERON reenter DEAN’s hospital room, armed with a new IV drip. DEAN watches them defiantly.
DEAN
What’s that?
FOREMAN
(hooking the bag up to the rack)
This is a clotting agent. If it works like we hope it will, then you have a better chance of getting through the surgery.
DEAN
(pulling away the hand with the IV in it, as FOREMAN reaches for it to attach the drip)
Like you hope it will? And what if it doesn’t?
FOREMAN
We don’t know exactly what we’re dealing with here; we can’t be one hundred percent sure how you’ll react. In all likelihood, like you’re supposed to. We don’t like to use definitive language, in case we screw up.
DEAN snorts, but he lets FOREMAN attach the drip. FOREMAN stands back, falling into line with CAMERON, who has remained halfway across the room.
FOREMAN
We’ll be back in half an hour or so, once it’s had time to get into your system and affect your platelets.
He and CAMERON leave the room.
INT. HOSPITAL — HALLWAY — DAY
FOREMAN and CAMERON walk back down the hallway, to where CHASE is waiting for them.
FOREMAN
I’d give it five minutes or so before he’s knocked out.
CAMERON
Where’s House?
CHASE
I passed him coming from Cuddy’s office while I was talking to the brother.
FOREMAN
So we don’t know.
(with false cheer)
Hey, you know, I’ll go find him. You guys can go make sure that our patient doesn’t drown in his own blood while he’s unconscious.
Without waiting for a reply, FOREMAN gives his teammates a nod and walks away. The expression on CAMERON’s face can only be described as priceless.
INT. HOSPITAL — HOSPITAL ROOM — DAY
CAMERON and CHASE have returned to the room; DEAN is unconscious. The equipment necessary for a blood transfusion is laid out on the table at the foot of the bed. CAMERON shuts the blinds so that the room is screened from view, and the pair get to work.
CHASE
(checking the clock)
How much time do we have?
CAMERON
I wouldn’t risk keeping him under for more than forty-five minutes.
CHASE
Okay. Let’s get going, then.
They set to work. CAMERON does the cleaning work and inserts the needle into the vein on DEAN’s forearm; CHASE passes her a blood bag, which she attaches to the cord on the end of the needle. With this accomplished, she hangs the blood bag, and she and CHASE sit down to monitor the process for any allergic reactions or other side effects as a result of the transfusion. There is awkward silence for a while.
CHASE
So …
CAMERON
Please, don’t feel obligated to make conversation.
CHASE raises his hands briefly in an ‘I surrender’ gesture, looking down. They wait for a few seconds more. He goes to check DEAN’s pulse, and gives him a visual once-over.
INT. HOSPITAL — HOSPITAL ROOM — DAY
Forty-five minutes later, the scene is nearly identical, aside from the blood bag now being mostly empty. CHASE is by the window, flipping through a magazine. CAMERON is pacing. DEAN is breathing shallowly, and it’s clear that he has started to have some difficulty. CAMERON paces over to him and disconnects the blood bag. Following this, she does the same to the sedative IV. CHASE closes his magazine, and CAMERON steps back, preparing for DEAN’s return to the conscious world. As they wait, there is a knock on the door. Immediately following the knock, the door opens, and WILSON leans in. CAMERON moves to intercept him before he can ask what they’re doing.
WILSON
(looking first to DEAN, then to CAMERON)
Is House in here?
CAMERON
He stopped by about twenty minutes ago. I don’t know where he is now, sorry. Did you try paging him?
WILSON
(rolling his eyes)
Multiple times. Do you think you could try him?
CAMERON
Uh … yeah, sure. Is something the matter?
WILSON
(in the tone of the long-suffering)
No, not exactly.
CAMERON
Does it have to do with the flowers yesterday?
WILSON looks around shiftily at the room beyond CAMERON instead of giving her an answer.
CAMERON
(sighing)
Fine.
She holds up her pager, and hits the buttons deliberately with her thumb, eyes never leaving WILSON’s face.
WILSON
Thank you.
He closes the door behind him. CAMERON turns around to CHASE.
CAMERON
Do you know what that was about?
CHASE shrugs. DEAN starts coughing; CHASE and CAMERON switch their attention back to the situation at hand as he opens his eyes. It takes a few seconds before he starts to look around, obviously disoriented. Eventually, his gaze settles on CAMERON, as she hands him the bucket.
DEAN
What just happened?
He leans forward to hack blood into the bucket for a worrying amount of time. When he’s finished, he moves to bend the arm that got the blood transfusion and frowns at the bandage in the crook of his elbow. CAMERON opens her mouth to give the illusion of having a ready answer, with an urgent look at CHASE.
CAMERON
Ah —
The door opens despite the closed blinds. HOUSE enters.
HOUSE
Where’s Wilson?
CHASE
Um … he just left to go find you.
HOUSE
Excellent. I’m assuming that’s why I got an urgent page to report to oncology from Dr. Cameron just now.
CAMERON doesn’t even have the grace to feign shame.
CAMERON
Why weren’t you answering his pages?
HOUSE
I’m playing hard to get.
DEAN
Hey!
HOUSE, CHASE, and CAMERON appear to remember that they have a patient. When they return their attention to him, he is scowling.
DEAN
I appreciate that you all have very interesting personal lives, but could someone tell me what the hell happened? A minute ago, that other doctor was here, telling me about platelet count or some crap like that; next thing I know, I’m waking up, he’s gone, and I think I’m drowning all over again.
HOUSE
(to CAMERON)
Ooh, this should be interesting.
CHASE
You weren’t completely conscious. We … may not have told you exactly what we were giving you.
DEAN
What do you mean?
CAMERON
Transfusion does reduce the risk of complications during surgery …
DEAN
(flat)
What. No, I told you, I told you no. You can’t do that.
CAMERON
(as though he is slow and failing to grasp a very simple concept)
If we hadn’t, you would have died.
DEAN
Maybe, you said maybe before.
HOUSE
Oh, shut up. You’re not going to turn into a vampire. I promise. And if you do, I’ve got a stake waiting in my office that I keep freshly sharpened for just these situations.
DEAN stares at HOUSE.
DEAN
Are you making fun of me?
HOUSE
Let me think, yes. Now you can let my doctors do their work, and live to thank them.
DEAN
You know what, no. I want someone else. Someone who’s not insane, do you have any of those around here?
HOUSE
Yeah. The doctors who aren’t crazy get the normal patients. You’re stuck with me. Sorry.
DEAN
Oh, great. So that’s how it works: I lie to you, so you lie to me?
HOUSE
Hm … yeah, sounds right.
(to CAMERON)
We’ve been bumped up for the surgery. The room is ready.
HOUSE leans over towards the medicine rack, and surreptitiously restarts the flow of sedatives. DEAN doesn’t notice.
CHASE
We can’t do that right now. We need to wait first to make sure that the donation takes.
DEAN coughs. HOUSE waits with saintly patience until he has finished to answer.
HOUSE
Yeah, let’s wait for the delusional patient with the undiagnosed illness to wake up properly before we keep him from bleeding to death. Great idea!
DEAN
Right here.
CAMERON
House …
HOUSE
(gleefully)
What’s he going to do, sue us? Can’t do that, they’d catch him! Whoever they are, and whatever they want, of course.
He shrugs and looks at DEAN, who has shut his eyes again. HOUSE makes a show of checking his watch.
HOUSE
That’s your cue. Go go go.
CAMERON
House!
HOUSE
He’ll thank me later. And so will you.
HOUSE leaves.
INT. HOSPITAL — HALLWAY — DAY
CHASE and CAMERON are in the process of pushing DEAN on a gurney down the hall. As they turn the corner, FOREMAN appears, and falls into step beside them.
CHASE
Where have you been?
FOREMAN
Cuddy’s office. You gave him the blood?
CAMERON
Yep. He was not happy.
FOREMAN
(laughing)
There’s a surprise.
CHASE
(oh god, why do they even put up with this amount of crap?)
Yeah, so House sedated him. Again. I do not pity the nurse who’s around when he wakes up, he looked ready to kill someone.
FOREMAN
The vampire thing?
CHASE
I guess.
FOREMAN
Sheesh.
FADE OUT.
FADE IN:
INT. MOTEL — SAM’S ROOM — DAY
SAM has returned to the motel without incident, jacket right-side-out once more. He sits at the desk, hunched over the computer. John’s journal is open to the right. The computer screen is open to an article with an image of the moon at the top corner of the page.
SAM
(under his breath)
Shit.
He pulls up a calendar on the computer, which shows the phases of the moon. He taps the current date, and moves his finger across the screen until it hits the full moon, which is two days away. He shuts the computer, stands, and makes for the door.
FADE OUT.
FADE IN:
INT. HOSPITAL — SURGERY ROOM — DAY
The room is bustling with several DOCTORS and NURSES, with the focus of the attention being DEAN, lying on the operating table. His stomach is held open with those weird fork things, while the SURGEON works on him with a needle and thread.
INT. HOSPITAL — OBSERVATION ROOM — DAY
CAMERON, CHASE, and FOREMAN look down through glass upon the surgery taking place a floor below.
FOREMAN
(turning around towards the door)
Where did House go? I thought he was just here.
CAMERON
I don’t know. He said something about going to play Gay Chicken …
CHASE
What?
FOREMAN sighs heavily. Silence descends while they watch the proceedings.
CHASE
Almost done, it looks like.
FOREMAN
(looking at the clock)
Not bad.
CHASE
Now we just need to find out why this happened in the first place, and we’re set.
CAMERON
Okay. Back to the drawing board.
INT. HOSPITAL — HOSPITAL ROOM — DAY
Two hours later. The surgeon’s work is done. DEAN is sleeping; a NURSE leans over the bed to check the readings. What she sees is satisfactory, and she goes to leave. The door opens just before she gets there, and SAM walks in timidly.
SAM
Hi. How’s he doing?
NURSE
Fine … He came out of anesthesia about an hour ago, he’s just sleeping right now. They let you come up?
SAM
(shiftily)
Yeah, I was told I could come in and wait. Are any of his doctors around?
NURSE
I don’t know. I’ll go check.
She leaves. SAM goes to sit down next to the bed again. He flicks a scrap of crumpled-up paper at DEAN; it bounces off his nose and startles him awake. He flails a bit until he sees SAM, at which point he attempts to regain his dignity and play it cool.
DEAN
Hey.
He attempts to push himself upright, winces, and gives up.
SAM
You okay?
DEAN
Yeah, of course I am. Where’ve you been?
SAM
Seriously, are you okay?
DEAN looks down at his arms, which are covered in rashes and bandages; at the tube sticking out of his hand; looks up; and raises his eyebrows at SAM. SAM smiles.
SAM
But the mark …
DEAN
Dunno. No one’s freaking out at me right now, so I’m assuming I’m not about to drop dead.
SAM
Great.
Silence descends for a few seconds, while they avoid looking directly at each other.
DEAN
… So?
SAM
Oh, right. Here.
SAM digs through his pockets and pulls out a small plastic bag with the black remains of the cookie inside. DEAN takes it from him and opens it to look inside and sniff.
DEAN
It’s dirt.
SAM
It’s gingerbread.
DEAN takes a moment to process this.
SAM
It was honestly just a lucky guess. I went around to all of the places we’d been the day before this happened. There was the one woman with the daughter …
DEAN smirks.
SAM
… there was the town library, and there was the old couple.
DEAN
Yeah, and?
SAM
(bordering on incredulity that he hasn’t figured out where this is going)
Where the husband brought out all of those cookies. Which you then ate.
DEAN tilts his head back and shuts his eyes.
SAM
I went through their house. Weeds everywhere, remember? Weeds, no bread, and the fruit was only fresh until it came into contact with cold iron.
DEAN
And this?
SAM
In the pantry. I’m pretty sure it’s [some sort of fairy thing going on]. I’ve been looking up how to stop it, and it looks like it requires [full-moon thingy going on] just to keep it from hanging on past its expiration date.
DEAN
Okay. So you do your thing, you save me. I get better, we find the kids and waste the fairies.
SAM
Oh, I found the kids. They’re in the storm cellar, it’s some sort of doorway to a, a river or something. I couldn’t open it, but they look okay. They’re just running around, it’s sunny … I don’t know. It’s weird. What’s the point?
DEAN
It could be some sort of ritual. You know, spring equinox, let’s celebrate by snatching a whole bunch of kids.
SAM
That doesn’t make sense, why now?
DEAN
Look, it was just an idea. I’m trying to think, it’s like swimming through pillows. Too many damn anesthetics …
The expression on his face becomes blank for a moment; then he shakes it off. (I’m working off of the assumption that he doesn’t have any recollection of the encounter with House; this is based off of my personal experience with anesthesia, which completely erased my memories of the events leading up to it.)
SAM
Yeah, well, if you weren’t such a pig, you wouldn’t be here, and you could help me do this.
DEAN smirks at him. A moment later, CAMERON knocks on the door. SAM gets up to let her in.
CAMERON
Hi. Natalie said you wanted to see me — how did you get in?
SAM
Oh, the nurse at the front desk said it was okay.
CAMERON is unconvinced.
SAM
I just wanted to see how everything went. Did the surgeon find anything when, they, um … went in?
DEAN side-eyes his choice of words.
CAMERON
We’re still reviewing the video footage to see if there’s anything that was missed the first time. So far, nothing’s come up. We’ll keep monitoring your brother to make sure that there are no complications.
(addressing DEAN)
The nurses drained your lungs before you went in for surgery, so you should be okay for a while.
DEAN
(attempting a winning smile)
Hey, look at that. I didn’t die after all. Told you.
SAM tilts his head at CAMERON
SAM
Wait. Did you do the …?
CAMERON
Yeah.
CAMERON
It’s normal to not remember the twenty minutes or so preceding anesthesia.
DEAN
What?
SAM
(hesitating)
I, uh, I told them to go ahead with the transfusion before surgery.
He clears his throat. DEAN gives him an ‘are you fucking with me’ look.
DEAN
You did what?
SAM
You looked ready to keel over, so I told them it was okay, I’d take responsibility.
There is a pause, where DEAN works on figuring out how to react to this bit of news. SAM and CAMERON metaphorically hold their breath until he decides.
DEAN
You are so lucky I’m on a drip right now, or I’d kill you.
SAM
I know.
DEAN
I still might.
SAM
(relieved that this is the only castigation he’s getting)
Sure.
CAMERON watches this in faint bemusement, but it’s really not what she’s here for. She nods, like ‘ah, I see, so that’s how it is.’
SAM
So what happens now?
CAMERON
Well, we’ve fixed the result, but not the cause. It’s like putting a band-aid on the problem.
DEAN
(muttering)
Giant fucking band-aid.
CAMERON gives a weak laugh.
CAMERON
We’ll finish going over the video, see if there’s anything we missed, and in the meantime, we’ll work on coming up with new ideas.
(to SAM)
It could take a while. There’s a cafeteria on the ground floor if you get hungry.
FADE OUT.
FADE IN:
INT. HOSPITAL — OUTER OFFICE — DAY
Several hours later, HOUSE and the DUCKLINGS have reconvened in the OUTER OFFICE in order to discuss their patient further. They have clearly been here for a while already; CHASE is surreptitiously attempting to watch videos on his laptop throughout the conversation.
HOUSE
And back to the drawing board it is.
CHASE
(wearily)
Endocarditis.
CAMERON
The shortness of breath was caused by pleural effusion, it doesn’t fit.
[More medical jargon that goes right over my head, until they hit on something that could cause the pleural effusion and the rip in the stomach lining, with the rash as a rare but possible side effect.]
CHASE
Great. I’ll get him started on [antibiotics, steroids, etc].
HOUSE
Thank you for volunteering. I appreciate it.
CHASE
(nonplussed)
Um … you’re welcome?
HOUSE
For offering to stay late and monitor our patient. Sorry, I assumed that was implicit.
CHASE
What? No, I’m going home in an hour.
HOUSE
Not anymore you’re not.
CHASE looks to CAMERON for support; she appears pained on his behalf. He sighs, looks at HOUSE, and leaves to do as he has been bid. HOUSE leans back in his chair and puts his feet up on the table.
HOUSE
And now, we wait.
FADE OUT.
FADE IN:
INT. HOSPITAL — HOSPITAL ROOM — NIGHT
The room is dark save for a few small, blinking lights. The clock on the wall reads midnight. There’s a beeping and quiet whirring of hospital machinery, but other than that, the room is quiet. SAM is sitting in his chair, at a more reasonable distance, slumped forwards and asleep. DEAN is shuffling about in his sleep. He opens his eyes, muttering to himself and appearing confused. This goes on for about five seconds before it wakes up SAM. He jumps awake, and frowns at DEAN.
SAM
Dean?
DEAN
(blinking as he focuses on SAM)
Dude.
He flails, reaching underneath his pillow for a weapon that isn’t there.
SAM
(leaning forwards, fully awake in an instant)
What’s wrong?
DEAN
(staring at the window behind SAM’s head)
Move. Behind you!
SAM lunges out of his chair without question, ducking onto the floor. He crouches immobile; nothing happens. He twists around, peeking out from behind his arms at the window, and sees nothing.
SAM
Is it still there?
DEAN
Yeah, yeah …
SAM
What’s it doing?
DEAN
(puzzled)
Nothing, it’s just … sitting there, looking in. Making faces …
SAM
Huh? What is it?
DEAN
I dunno. It’s not a reaper, I’m telling you that.
SAM gets up and turns around towards the window; arms spread and feet planted.
DEAN
(pushing himself into a sitting position, eyes wide)
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
SAM waves his hands around.
SAM
What?
DEAN
What the hell?
He ducks, grunting in pain at the movement, and protects his face with his hands against an unseen attacker.
FADE OUT.
END OF ACT THREE.
On a related note, my family and I just watched the series finale of House, and oh my god. ALL OF THE FEELINGS about the ending. The ending, that ending was the best possible outcome for this show. Just ... OH GOD. I want all the post-series domestic House/Wilson fics now. ALL OF THEM.
