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kasihyaThe two shows are so similar, and I just read a Supernatural/Community crossover that did a really good job of balancing the two universes so that everyone was fully absorbed into the others' universe, and everything was wonderful and good. And then I ended up plotting out an episode of both which takes place at the same time. It's four pages of rambling right now, but I'm transcribing it into a more coherent format here. Except not right now. Because it's 12:30 and I'm going to sleep so that I can wake up at a normal-person hour.
(Just to be clear, there are no plans to write more than one or two scenes from this. It was just a lot of fun to plot out and clear my head because it's insisting that Supernatural fanfic is a good and proper way to spend my time, and I frankly have a lot of other things I'd rather be doing.)
The scene opens up on our heroes sitting in the living room of a friendly old couple, talking to them about the local history. The husband comes in with a plate of crackers and cheeses, things like that; while Sam interviews their informants, Dean proceeds to eat like a dying man, probably earning reproving looks from his brother. They leave shortly thereafter, having gained no really important information. They arrive at their motel, discussing the next plan of action and providing exposition for the audience that they are in this town because there have been reports of bizarre animal behavior, especially on the outlying farms, and they suspect that it is a werewolf. Something like that. They have been there a week, and they’re starting to think that maybe it’s just a normal animal.
After the conversation ends, the scene cuts to the middle of the night. Sam wakes up because his brother is on the floor of the bathroom, coughing up obscene amounts of blood, cursing, and trying not to wake him up. An appropriately dramatic cut-off point ensues, and the opening credits roll.
The scene opens on House and his team going through cases, deciding which one to take on next. This is the original team: Foreman, Chase, and Cameron. They hit the case of a twenty-six year old male, etc, etc, no extant medical problems, suddenly coughing up blood but without any apparent cause. House decides to take the case to spite the team, who want him to take one that sounds a lot more serious, thus setting up some of the initial conflict.
Cue a cut to Dean sitting in a hospital bed, pan in lap, and the ducklings asking him and Sam questions about where they live, what they’ve been doing, any medical records, etc. The ducklings are calling them by false names, because they’ve provided fake health insurance in order to get in. The town where they’re supposed to be living is in the Midwest, but they haven’t been there much in the past thirteen months because they’re on a road trip around the country, investigating instances of paranormal phenomena. (This is probably Sam’s idea, because they don’t honestly know what’s wrong, they have no reason yet to suspect that it’s anything supernatural, so he wants to be as honest as possible without actually telling the truth. Also, it’s House, he’s renowned as being good at calling out bullshit.) This does, of course, cause raised eyebrows among the medical team. Foreman probably does some well-meaning probing questioning to figure out if they actually believe in the things they’re researching, and they’re like, of course not, it’s pure academic interest.
The team goes about doing their brainstorming thing, while gossiping about the patients. They come up with a couple of different ideas, and go to do their tests. (I love this show. I don’t even have to try.) The tests tell them that, basically, he’s losing blood, and it’s going into his lungs, but again, no particular reason why. It just is. Upon them all coming back without any more results, they return to the hospital room, where Sam jumps all over them, wanting to know what’s going on, what have they found out, do they have any information, et cetera. He’s probably one of those people who thinks he knows more than the doctors and has all sorts of ideas that are completely off base. While they are attempting to get him to shut up and let them do their job, there is a dramatic cutaway to Dean looking at his arms and being like ‘Uh … dude, what the fuck?’ and when everyone turns around, he’s got patchy, feathery rashes all over his arms and face. Probable commercial break.
When we get back from the commercial break, it’s back to the conference room, where the team are discussing factors that could have caused him to get worse. They’re probably going to think something internal, as opposed to an environmental factor because he’s getting worse while in the hospital. They go to ask more questions to get specifics on anything that might have caused problems for him, but not his brother, since they say they’ve been together pretty nearly constantly for the last year. Turns out that under close scrutiny, a lot of what they say is very vague or doesn’t quite add up. After the team leaves, House sends Chase and Cameron to the motel where the brothers have been staying, to investigate and see what’s what … which is when they find a huge assortment of papers spread out across the floor, relating to demonic viruses and magical reasons for Dean being sick, in addition to the numerous fake IDs. From which they gather, correctly, that their patient not only believes in the paranormal things he’s investigating, but also that they’re both operating well outside of the real of what could be termed “legal”.
Now, this would mean they’d have to go back and confront Dean, who would try to make up some sort of lie about why they’ve got so many different IDs for the both of them, and it works for about five seconds before Foreman calls his bluff. Neither is willing to give their real names, though, given Dean’s criminal record, about which House grouses to his team. Also about superstitious people and how stupid they are, even though Cameron insists that their motel room was weird, definitely, but nothing medically abnormal. Their unified front and general grouchy touchy-feeling relationship probably makes Cameron sentimental, because that’s what she does to help patients. For the purposes of this scene, the team is conferring outside of the hospital room, and she spends a few seconds looking through the glass and watching them contemplatively. Then the camera would cut to them discussing different ways that Dean could have contracted the illness, with increasing urgency. Probably with accompanying demon-angst, because this is also Supernatural. They come up with their own list of possibilities, as per John’s journal, and they think they might have an idea. What if it’s connected to that werewolf that they’re hunting down, someone trying to throw them off the scent? They go through the people who would have the motive for that, and if so, then why did only Dean get sick? But then, this being House, something happens to complicate, and Dean gets worse. There is discussion of symbiotic relationships in the spirit world; he reaches over for the journal to check something, and they notice these big bruises forming, so the doctors come back in (even though in a real hospital, it would be the nurses who’d take care of everything, I know) and it’s all ‘oh crap, internal bleeding, etc’ at the same time that their patients figure out that it was probably either the husband or the wife that they met in the beginning of the episode. Naturally, the worsening condition puts the team off of wondering what their whole gig is.
Sam is concerned because the bruises are shaped like some important symbolic thing, which gives him a clue as to what’s going on with his brother. Turns out, even if he has no idea why it’s manifesting the way it is, the sickness is somehow connected to a basilisk (just saying basilisk for simplicity’s sake). And that even if the doctors found a cure — which they are now frantically trying to do, before he bleeds to death — it won’t take until the magical component of the disease is removed. Furthermore, the disease is likely to progress according to the cycles of the moon, which explains why he keeps getting worse. The antidote, to break the magical hold, is to kill the basilisk whose egg was used. Unfortunately, this involves summoning it at its full strength, which is at the full moon. Or something like that. In addition, they’re still working on the case, and if the old couple is connected to the murders in that small town, then he needs to do something about them. What are they, that they have access to basilisk’s egg? Oh god, could they be the basilisks themselves? Yikes.
Short scene with Cuddy calling House to his office, to do something about the identity theft; to find out who these people are, and what they’re hiding.
This is followed by a variety of things happening: the medical team is frustrated and trying to brainstorm more solutions. Sam goes back to the old couple’s place, and ascertains that the husband is, indeed, a basilisk, while the wife is the werewolf. He then returns to keep bedside vigil while he and Dean go over absolutely everything they know about basilisks to ensure that everything will go as smoothly as possible when he tries to confront the pair. Dean is angry that he insists on going alone to handle two creatures. They probably attempt to perform some sort of protective perimeter, which causes the medical team to shake their heads from afar. The team has an ethically fraught discussion about a possible solution, but the solution is risky enough that there is argument over it. Eventually, however, they agree, and go to get consent for the treatment. House makes an appearance from on high to deliver the message, catching Sam in the middle of a ritual. Naturally he’s going to take the piss out of him over it, which would tick Dean off enough that he’d get into a shouting match with House. It would be cut short by the onset of hallucinations, about the creature that infected him, which would reveal that he’s been running a fever for a while now. Or, from the medical show perspective, it would be hallucinations, and from the occult show perspective, it would be visions. They both interpret it differently, but in any case, the fever means that the treatment they were considering is definitely too dangerous to do right now. They wait, and there is a short angsty montage of the medical team hanging their heads. Something like that.
By the day of the full moon, after a day and a half of the team working to keep their patient from overheating and dying, it becomes a question of whether or not Dean will actually make it to the full moon long enough for Sam to break the hold, and if that will be enough to keep him alive until House can have his eureka moment. The team is baffled, because he’s not responding to antibiotics or steroids or whatever is the go-to solution for this show. I don’t know, I haven’t watched it in a while and it’s not accurate anyway. Sam probably has a heart-to-heart with Cameron, because damaged, emotionally unavailable men? Right up her alley, unfortunately. And House broods over their impossible patient.
Okay, late that evening, Sam finally leaves to go do his thing, and House is talking to Wilson and has his eureka moment based on their conversation. He calls up his team to come back to work, because he knows what’s wrong. It’s this weird mystery disease that was never actually named, because it’s only showed up a couple of times in the last few hundred years. But they can base their actions off of what worked last time, which was sometime in the fifties or sixties. Meanwhile, Sam is approaching the old couple’s home, armed, and Dean is being violently uncooperative because he’s lost touch with reality. At the house, the basilisk and the werewolf both appear in their true forms, there is an almighty fight in which our hero gets beat up a lot, but the foes are vanquished in heroic and messy fashion. Its blood is collected, Sam rushes to the hospital after doing his best to clean up and not look like a homicidal maniac, where Cameron and Chase are doing their thing. I can’t actually tell what that would be because I don’t even have a set disease yet, let alone a medical background. Sam bursts in despite the delicacy of whatever it is that they are doing. He is restrained by the nurses, but gets close enough to splash the basilisk’s blood onto Dean, which breaks the magical hold even though the medical team is horrified by the contamination and the fact that holy god, superstitious people are idiots. But it still works.
Cut to the next day, when the patient is miraculously halfway to a full recovery, minus some blood loss, and Sam is discussing insurance with House. House does not give two fucks, I think; he just tells him that it makes no difference as long as he gets his paycheck, and Cuddy can deal with the rest. House gets called away to Cuddy’s office at that very moment. When he gets there, she hands him a file, saying that she’d had someone or other looking into who their patient was. Lo and behold, they’ve been treating an escapee criminal with three counts of murder, one faked death, impersonation, fraud, etc. House rolls his eyes and goes back to arrest his patient and the patient’s brother, only to arrive at the room and find that they’ve booked it. The episode ends with deliberately blasé banter in the car as they drive away.
Welp. That was fun. I tried to include as many tropes native to each show as possible, but in the end, I decided that because it's a crossover, I had to cut out the House-centric B-plot that usually ties in to the patient of the week in order to make room for the supernatural-investigation B-plot. Hoping that they balanced out well enough.
(Just to be clear, there are no plans to write more than one or two scenes from this. It was just a lot of fun to plot out and clear my head because it's insisting that Supernatural fanfic is a good and proper way to spend my time, and I frankly have a lot of other things I'd rather be doing.)
The scene opens up on our heroes sitting in the living room of a friendly old couple, talking to them about the local history. The husband comes in with a plate of crackers and cheeses, things like that; while Sam interviews their informants, Dean proceeds to eat like a dying man, probably earning reproving looks from his brother. They leave shortly thereafter, having gained no really important information. They arrive at their motel, discussing the next plan of action and providing exposition for the audience that they are in this town because there have been reports of bizarre animal behavior, especially on the outlying farms, and they suspect that it is a werewolf. Something like that. They have been there a week, and they’re starting to think that maybe it’s just a normal animal.
After the conversation ends, the scene cuts to the middle of the night. Sam wakes up because his brother is on the floor of the bathroom, coughing up obscene amounts of blood, cursing, and trying not to wake him up. An appropriately dramatic cut-off point ensues, and the opening credits roll.
The scene opens on House and his team going through cases, deciding which one to take on next. This is the original team: Foreman, Chase, and Cameron. They hit the case of a twenty-six year old male, etc, etc, no extant medical problems, suddenly coughing up blood but without any apparent cause. House decides to take the case to spite the team, who want him to take one that sounds a lot more serious, thus setting up some of the initial conflict.
Cue a cut to Dean sitting in a hospital bed, pan in lap, and the ducklings asking him and Sam questions about where they live, what they’ve been doing, any medical records, etc. The ducklings are calling them by false names, because they’ve provided fake health insurance in order to get in. The town where they’re supposed to be living is in the Midwest, but they haven’t been there much in the past thirteen months because they’re on a road trip around the country, investigating instances of paranormal phenomena. (This is probably Sam’s idea, because they don’t honestly know what’s wrong, they have no reason yet to suspect that it’s anything supernatural, so he wants to be as honest as possible without actually telling the truth. Also, it’s House, he’s renowned as being good at calling out bullshit.) This does, of course, cause raised eyebrows among the medical team. Foreman probably does some well-meaning probing questioning to figure out if they actually believe in the things they’re researching, and they’re like, of course not, it’s pure academic interest.
The team goes about doing their brainstorming thing, while gossiping about the patients. They come up with a couple of different ideas, and go to do their tests. (I love this show. I don’t even have to try.) The tests tell them that, basically, he’s losing blood, and it’s going into his lungs, but again, no particular reason why. It just is. Upon them all coming back without any more results, they return to the hospital room, where Sam jumps all over them, wanting to know what’s going on, what have they found out, do they have any information, et cetera. He’s probably one of those people who thinks he knows more than the doctors and has all sorts of ideas that are completely off base. While they are attempting to get him to shut up and let them do their job, there is a dramatic cutaway to Dean looking at his arms and being like ‘Uh … dude, what the fuck?’ and when everyone turns around, he’s got patchy, feathery rashes all over his arms and face. Probable commercial break.
When we get back from the commercial break, it’s back to the conference room, where the team are discussing factors that could have caused him to get worse. They’re probably going to think something internal, as opposed to an environmental factor because he’s getting worse while in the hospital. They go to ask more questions to get specifics on anything that might have caused problems for him, but not his brother, since they say they’ve been together pretty nearly constantly for the last year. Turns out that under close scrutiny, a lot of what they say is very vague or doesn’t quite add up. After the team leaves, House sends Chase and Cameron to the motel where the brothers have been staying, to investigate and see what’s what … which is when they find a huge assortment of papers spread out across the floor, relating to demonic viruses and magical reasons for Dean being sick, in addition to the numerous fake IDs. From which they gather, correctly, that their patient not only believes in the paranormal things he’s investigating, but also that they’re both operating well outside of the real of what could be termed “legal”.
Now, this would mean they’d have to go back and confront Dean, who would try to make up some sort of lie about why they’ve got so many different IDs for the both of them, and it works for about five seconds before Foreman calls his bluff. Neither is willing to give their real names, though, given Dean’s criminal record, about which House grouses to his team. Also about superstitious people and how stupid they are, even though Cameron insists that their motel room was weird, definitely, but nothing medically abnormal. Their unified front and general grouchy touchy-feeling relationship probably makes Cameron sentimental, because that’s what she does to help patients. For the purposes of this scene, the team is conferring outside of the hospital room, and she spends a few seconds looking through the glass and watching them contemplatively. Then the camera would cut to them discussing different ways that Dean could have contracted the illness, with increasing urgency. Probably with accompanying demon-angst, because this is also Supernatural. They come up with their own list of possibilities, as per John’s journal, and they think they might have an idea. What if it’s connected to that werewolf that they’re hunting down, someone trying to throw them off the scent? They go through the people who would have the motive for that, and if so, then why did only Dean get sick? But then, this being House, something happens to complicate, and Dean gets worse. There is discussion of symbiotic relationships in the spirit world; he reaches over for the journal to check something, and they notice these big bruises forming, so the doctors come back in (even though in a real hospital, it would be the nurses who’d take care of everything, I know) and it’s all ‘oh crap, internal bleeding, etc’ at the same time that their patients figure out that it was probably either the husband or the wife that they met in the beginning of the episode. Naturally, the worsening condition puts the team off of wondering what their whole gig is.
Sam is concerned because the bruises are shaped like some important symbolic thing, which gives him a clue as to what’s going on with his brother. Turns out, even if he has no idea why it’s manifesting the way it is, the sickness is somehow connected to a basilisk (just saying basilisk for simplicity’s sake). And that even if the doctors found a cure — which they are now frantically trying to do, before he bleeds to death — it won’t take until the magical component of the disease is removed. Furthermore, the disease is likely to progress according to the cycles of the moon, which explains why he keeps getting worse. The antidote, to break the magical hold, is to kill the basilisk whose egg was used. Unfortunately, this involves summoning it at its full strength, which is at the full moon. Or something like that. In addition, they’re still working on the case, and if the old couple is connected to the murders in that small town, then he needs to do something about them. What are they, that they have access to basilisk’s egg? Oh god, could they be the basilisks themselves? Yikes.
Short scene with Cuddy calling House to his office, to do something about the identity theft; to find out who these people are, and what they’re hiding.
This is followed by a variety of things happening: the medical team is frustrated and trying to brainstorm more solutions. Sam goes back to the old couple’s place, and ascertains that the husband is, indeed, a basilisk, while the wife is the werewolf. He then returns to keep bedside vigil while he and Dean go over absolutely everything they know about basilisks to ensure that everything will go as smoothly as possible when he tries to confront the pair. Dean is angry that he insists on going alone to handle two creatures. They probably attempt to perform some sort of protective perimeter, which causes the medical team to shake their heads from afar. The team has an ethically fraught discussion about a possible solution, but the solution is risky enough that there is argument over it. Eventually, however, they agree, and go to get consent for the treatment. House makes an appearance from on high to deliver the message, catching Sam in the middle of a ritual. Naturally he’s going to take the piss out of him over it, which would tick Dean off enough that he’d get into a shouting match with House. It would be cut short by the onset of hallucinations, about the creature that infected him, which would reveal that he’s been running a fever for a while now. Or, from the medical show perspective, it would be hallucinations, and from the occult show perspective, it would be visions. They both interpret it differently, but in any case, the fever means that the treatment they were considering is definitely too dangerous to do right now. They wait, and there is a short angsty montage of the medical team hanging their heads. Something like that.
By the day of the full moon, after a day and a half of the team working to keep their patient from overheating and dying, it becomes a question of whether or not Dean will actually make it to the full moon long enough for Sam to break the hold, and if that will be enough to keep him alive until House can have his eureka moment. The team is baffled, because he’s not responding to antibiotics or steroids or whatever is the go-to solution for this show. I don’t know, I haven’t watched it in a while and it’s not accurate anyway. Sam probably has a heart-to-heart with Cameron, because damaged, emotionally unavailable men? Right up her alley, unfortunately. And House broods over their impossible patient.
Okay, late that evening, Sam finally leaves to go do his thing, and House is talking to Wilson and has his eureka moment based on their conversation. He calls up his team to come back to work, because he knows what’s wrong. It’s this weird mystery disease that was never actually named, because it’s only showed up a couple of times in the last few hundred years. But they can base their actions off of what worked last time, which was sometime in the fifties or sixties. Meanwhile, Sam is approaching the old couple’s home, armed, and Dean is being violently uncooperative because he’s lost touch with reality. At the house, the basilisk and the werewolf both appear in their true forms, there is an almighty fight in which our hero gets beat up a lot, but the foes are vanquished in heroic and messy fashion. Its blood is collected, Sam rushes to the hospital after doing his best to clean up and not look like a homicidal maniac, where Cameron and Chase are doing their thing. I can’t actually tell what that would be because I don’t even have a set disease yet, let alone a medical background. Sam bursts in despite the delicacy of whatever it is that they are doing. He is restrained by the nurses, but gets close enough to splash the basilisk’s blood onto Dean, which breaks the magical hold even though the medical team is horrified by the contamination and the fact that holy god, superstitious people are idiots. But it still works.
Cut to the next day, when the patient is miraculously halfway to a full recovery, minus some blood loss, and Sam is discussing insurance with House. House does not give two fucks, I think; he just tells him that it makes no difference as long as he gets his paycheck, and Cuddy can deal with the rest. House gets called away to Cuddy’s office at that very moment. When he gets there, she hands him a file, saying that she’d had someone or other looking into who their patient was. Lo and behold, they’ve been treating an escapee criminal with three counts of murder, one faked death, impersonation, fraud, etc. House rolls his eyes and goes back to arrest his patient and the patient’s brother, only to arrive at the room and find that they’ve booked it. The episode ends with deliberately blasé banter in the car as they drive away.
Welp. That was fun. I tried to include as many tropes native to each show as possible, but in the end, I decided that because it's a crossover, I had to cut out the House-centric B-plot that usually ties in to the patient of the week in order to make room for the supernatural-investigation B-plot. Hoping that they balanced out well enough.
