Slow, Agonizing Progress
Feb. 12th, 2012 10:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kasihyaOver 10K on this stupid story! (currently titled the Sentimental Sniper because 'homoerotic hit-man' just doesn't trip off the tongue as easily.) Which isn't saying much, considering that the first draft was 12K, and that there is also 8K in excised bits that had to get trashed when I rewrote the second half ... but still! Slowly but surely, I am dragging this thing out of my brain. I don't think I've ever written so slowly in my life. I don't enjoy editing. Rewriting yes - anything that involves sitting down with a notebook and pen and drawing loops across the page, I love that feeling. Having to work with a screen and a keyboard and a mousepad that frequently decides it's time to change things up and jump twelve lines up in the document while I'm not looking, it makes it more difficult for me to think.
Today was not very productive because I had a nervous meltdown for most of the day instead of doing everything I'd planned. I really don't know why, but it felt awful. It was one of those days where I just could not leave my dorm room because everywhere else was too big and too judgey full of people? I don't even know, but I nearly hyperventilated from stress at the idea that at some point I would have to leave for the student garden planning meeting ... so I ended up skipping it and hiding in my room reading the Suite du Merlin instead. (Which sounds like a Baroque concert series by the way, what the fuck.) Result being that it's way too late and I still have to do quite a bit of work for tomorrow's classes. But I am so close to being done with this scene which takes place in a taxi cab and is very anticlimactic but whatever. I think I may switch the dialogue around with the other scene instead - I'm a huge fan of that scene the way it is, but thematically it doesn't make as much sense to have them in this order.
Today was not very productive because I had a nervous meltdown for most of the day instead of doing everything I'd planned. I really don't know why, but it felt awful. It was one of those days where I just could not leave my dorm room because everywhere else was too big and too judgey full of people? I don't even know, but I nearly hyperventilated from stress at the idea that at some point I would have to leave for the student garden planning meeting ... so I ended up skipping it and hiding in my room reading the Suite du Merlin instead. (Which sounds like a Baroque concert series by the way, what the fuck.) Result being that it's way too late and I still have to do quite a bit of work for tomorrow's classes. But I am so close to being done with this scene which takes place in a taxi cab and is very anticlimactic but whatever. I think I may switch the dialogue around with the other scene instead - I'm a huge fan of that scene the way it is, but thematically it doesn't make as much sense to have them in this order.
